sorry 4 the wait 3
my brain doesn't work anymore after october's mind boggling ass books
For all those asking, I finally moved into my new apartment after a grueling process (it wasn’t really that bad, all things considered, but I do love to complain). I also set up my Wi-Fi all by myself after some issues (I hadn’t plugged the router in) and fixed my TV (plugged it in with the wrong cable), so I’m a tech wizard now and plan to start moonlighting as a freelance IT guy. So lots has happened and now you can forgive me for putting this out two weeks late!
I would also like to acknowledge once again that it’s been an incredible difficult time for those of us who are following the devastation in Gaza and the genocide of the Palestinian people at the hands of the Israeli government in real time, especially in light of the sickening strike on a refugee camp. I will keep it short, as I talked about this and laid out what I think are essential facts in my last newsletter, and I want to maintain this space as something vaguely escapist, but I do want to say that amidst the dread and heartbreak and anguish, seeing more people than I’ve ever seen speaking out against this active human rights atrocity and mass of horrific war crimes has sparked a little hope in me. Keep speaking out, keep amplifying Palestinian voices, go to protests if you can, donate to humanitarian funds if you can, call your representatives and senators, and don’t be silenced. It really matters.
U.S. Campaign for Palestinian Rights
Legal Resources for Activists Advocating for Palestine Across the U.S.
reads
It’s been a REALLY slow reading month due to the topics detailed above. And, if I’m being totally transparent with you all, my best friends and readers, I also hadn’t watched any Vanderpump Rules since moving due to being too lazy to set up my Roku, so a lot of my time has been devoted to eating chocolate fudge frosting in front of the television as my brain cells rot one by one.
However! I did manage to finish up Melissa Lozada-Olivia’s Candelaria. I waffled quite a bit on my feelings about this one as I read it and ended without much of a clear-cut perspective, which gives you a bit of a preview of my general review. The novel itself is a bit difficult to explain, but, in plainest terms, it follows three generations of a family of women and some mysterious circumstances following them all amid flash-forwards of what seems to be a zombie apocalypse.
I’ve spoken frequently about how much I love MLO’s writing, and what she does in this work is no exception — though this is written like a traditional novel in prose, her poetic style really shines through. But she’s not too self-serious at all, which I think this manner of writing unfortunately can lend itself to. In fact, it’s quite funny! The blend of satire and magical realism creates an incredibly unique and cool atmosphere and kept me engaged throughout. I’m just a sucker for bits like:
Bianca had no opinions about the song. Bianca hated music. All she could think about was how art is only ever really about the person who makes it, not the person it’s about. That’s not love, Bianca thought, as her phone died, which was strange since she never left the house without charging it to one hundred percent. (112)
Where the novel really falters, is, unfortunately, in the structuring of its plot. It’s absolutely wacky and there’s a lot of mystery to it, which is enjoyable at first, but the vagueness is annoyingly dragged out and also has so many different elements to it that I’m really not sure what I was supposed to glean from it. I think I wrote in my last newsletter that I was halfway through with absolutely no clue of what things were building up to, and I closed the book feeling exactly the same way. It’s just that so many freaking things happen that don’t get resolved or don’t seem to connect enough that it’s difficult to come away from the whole thing satisfied.
I totally get what she was going for (I think), and I appreciate a lot of what she was able to accomplish here. The deftest of authors can have difficulty writing through multiple narrative perspectives and juggling an absurd number of plot points. I certainly enjoyed this at many points, but I came away feeling rather meh. 3.7/5, we’ll say.
I also finally set sail on, and, indeed, completed my journey through Biography of X. A significant reason why this week’s newsletter is late is because I had a little blurb written here while I was in the midst of frenetically reading it, but, quite frankly, my opinions oscillated so dramatically as I continued that I knew I couldn’t talk about it until I had finished. It’s a fictional biography of a mysterious woman, X, written by her widow.
This is a deeply ambitious novel — Catherine Lacey has not only constructed an alternate version of America, but done so through the lens of a fictional biography, which is complex, because it has to assume that the fictional reader is familiar with their country’s history while also conveying the details of this universe to the real reader. As such, this format makes it prime fodder for succumbing to fiction’s CARDINAL SIN!!!!!!!! of telling rather than showing, and while we’re seeing some of that here, I still feel generally okay with how it’s integrated into the story writ large. I greatly enjoy her writing style and felt very absorbed throughout, and I think that quite a bit of what she’s done is a triumph.
When I put this book down, however, I had one question: What was the fucking point? What was I supposed to glean from this? What was this story actually about? Why should I care about X? Why should I care about her widow? Okay, I had multiple questions. This only enhances my point.
I pretty much had exactly the same thought I had with Candelaria: When I was about halfway through the book, I was wondering what everything was building up to. And when I finished the book, I was still wondering that. There’s just a lot of shit going on (seems to be the theme of this month’s books) that never quite seems to lead anywhere, and I felt deeply dissatisfied at the end and just a bit confused about why this book was written (both by the fictional biographer and the real-life author).
And perhaps I’m too much of a nihilist to find this charming or interesting, but the alternate version of the United States that Lacey presents, while richly detailed, felt incredibly cringe as I continued to read it. Like, I physically recoiled when I read the phrase “President Bernie Sanders’s first term.” I just … in this day and age, I don’t find any of that shit entertaining or profound. Maybe I just don’t like speculative fiction. I don’t know. Though if this is a satire of annoying neoliberal culture, it fully succeeds.
At the end of the day, the novel didn’t quite come together — the biography, the parallel universe, the story itself — and that sucks. To be honest, I’m not sure if a book like this would have ever succeeded for me, but there are many seeds of brilliance in there that never quite blossoms. 3.4/5, but we’ll see how I’m feeling after a month of rumination.
In addititon to those two mindfucks, I read Family Dinner by Bryan Washington. I very much appreciate its significant difference from the books listed above in that it’s 1) short and 2) not layered to the point of no return, so I got through it in one sitting and didn’t put it down thinking, why the fuck did I just read that? I definitely understand why this has been well-loved this year, because it really fucking pulls at your heartstrings, and I just never knew what was going to happen next, which I always appreciate. And, in a rare win for multiple narrative perspectives, I thought Washington actually does this quite well, and that structure suited the story he attempts to tell.
At the same time, I don’t think that the key relationship in the book was properly fleshed out, nor were any of the characters themselves, and I really think just a little more oomph to the narrative would have sent this over the edge and been something special. Also, I simply cannot stand the trend of short, almost bulleted sentences comprising entire novels, and about two pages in I realized pretty quickly that that seemed to be the guiding formula here. When you don’t care for the stylings of a novel, it’s difficult to feel drawn in by the plot.
But I definitely commend the tender and devastating way Washington writes about the intersection of being a queer person of color, and the manner in which he explores the highs and lows of sexual intimacy in the gay community. There’s a lot of good to be found here; it just wasn’t quite enough for me. 3.6/5. My über-specific ratings are starting to become incomprehensible to even me.
current reads
Embarrassingly, I haven’t read any of James Baldwin’s fiction before, but I’ve gotten off to a strong start with Giovanni’s Room. As of the time of this newsletter’s writing, I’ve literally just finished it, so I’ll save my thoughts for next week (as if I’ll have anything remotely insightful to say), but I’m thankful to finally have a book worthy of being the best October read. My yearlong bracket isn’t filling itself out.
ulysses corner
maybe if it’s this small they won’t notice I have nothing
other media
vanderpump rules
Some quick hits from the past week of binging:
Ariana said “I take sketch comedy very seriously” to dump on Kristen Doute at the end of season four and I just can’t look at a person the same way after they say something like that. If I’m being honest, she’s rather annoying and sometimes hard to watch, and I’m hoping I start to like her more soon so I don’t regret voting for her on Dancing With The Stars every week (I’ve never watched a full episode, but I like to text and vote for her and Charity anyways).
Also, I’m really not liking Lala right now, which is annoying, because I know she gets better later, but I simply don’t know how. She’s been pretty awful, and, in particular, making fun of someone’s weight is pretty unforgivable to me. She does seem to be very close friends with everyone in the cast now, though — and she’s currently five years sober, which is honestly helpful context for a lot of her behavior before then —so I’ll be interested to see how that shakes out.
I finally watched the heralded episode where an absolutely obliterated Jax Taylor calls himself “the number one guy in the group” with the most serious face in the world and every time I think about it I start chuckling. He is the perfect reality TV villain and I am obsessed with the absolutely bonkers shit he spits out on a daily basis. (minus when he told Brittany she needed to get the boobs he wanted since he was paying for her surgery and also that she needs to make him a sandwich. poor Brittany. in an alternate universe, I’m team Brittany and Kristen. Catherine Lacey, girl, I’m calling on you…)
non-book reads
If you, like me, are from central Massachusetts, you should be subscribed to Bill Shaner’s Substack, Worcester Sucks and I Love It. He puts out the best journalism bar none in the area. Even if you’re not from the area or even the state (lucky you), there’s a phenomenal article he posted a few days ago that I’d highly recommend about the decades-long struggle of Heather Prunier, who was repeatedly sexually assaulted as a child by one of Worcester’s most well-connected school administrators, and, predictably and disgustingly and shamefully, was completely swept under the rug. It’s longer than the average Substack post, but worth the read. Additional content warnings for self-harm and child abuse.
I will conclude by admitting that I’ve finally conceded defeat and reduced my Goodreads goal to something more easily achievable by the end of the year and, I’m going to be honest, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. If there’s anything you think I absolutely NEED to read before 11:59 PM on December 31 to salvage my meh year of reading, please tell me now. If you don’t, don’t get mad at me later. Bye!
